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Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Cheating...

I happened to have a discussion with one of my colleague about love, marriage, life and it automatically got routed to the topic "Cheating". We were talking about how people end up in one night stands cheating their loved ones. My India culture and brought up made me say "Having physical relationship with other men/women is the worst thing any body can do". To my surprise what my friend said was "I can forgive my BF/Husband for a one night stand but not the emotional cheating". We discussed for a while but never could agree with her. I was confident that one night stands were the worst.
          Around two days after this happened, I have listened to a radio show on the topic "Cheating". Its a one hour program and I have listened to the entire topic. I have listened to the facilitators, people who cheated, people who still are cheating etc etc. What all I have got is the below.

There are two kinds of cheating the we humans specialize.

(i) Physical (I still believe that Phy is the worst type of cheating, that's the reason I have mentioned it first)
(ii) Emotional

Guys, in general, would end up in one night stands; mostly knowingly. The reasons for that would be:

Emotional distress
Stress in personal life
Stress in professional life
Fights with spouse
Revenge on spouse/friends
Entertainment
Drug/Alcohol influence

Women/Men both end up (knowingly/unknowingly) in emotional cheating. This is the dangerous kind (Yes, I agreed with my friend now). I will give you an example. I remember a person who unknowingly started sharing things with a colleague. He started discussing office grief with her, which extended into personal matters. Every time he had a fight at home, he found peace by sharing with her and bitching about his wife. After a year all the important things of his life, salary, bonus, planning for children, his happiness, his grief, his fears, his tears everything is being shared with her alone. He is no more interested in his wife. Anything important in his life, his friend is the one that came to his mind. Gradually his married life began to get destroyed. Ofcourse at the brink of it, due to his friend moving to states, he became normal again. But then it was a disaster. I was the witness of the whole episode and can never forget what the emotional relationship with her made him go through.

This kind of cheating starts slowly and unknowingly, you will end up liking the other person more that what you should do. This creates a rift in you life and things will change drastically. To avoid this, you need to know that, instead of bitching about your spouse, you need to address the problem. This will not only make your life easy but also make your spouses life easy. By addressing the problem, you not only solve it many times, but also come up with an agreeable solution which will work for both of you and will avoid problems.

Guys/Girls be aware before getting into this kind of stuff. You never know when you become attached and will have to pay a big price for it.   


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